A simple definition of friendship must be had before loyalty can even come into play. That being, a friend does not ask another friend to do anything bad to, for, or with them. Once that is met, loyalty can develop. At an abstract level it is a duty to another person and the motivation to act in a way that helps that other person achieve their wishes. At a practical level, it consists of contextually specific verbal and physical interactions. For example, loyalty to a spouse or lover’s desire for physical fitness consists of healthy diet, sleep and exercise. Or loyalty to a loved one’s desire for better communication consists of scheduled conversations with rules to prevent harmful communication like cruel language, and promote healthy communication like repeating the talking points of the other party.
This loyalty business has levels of course. At the start, it comes with requirements. Namely, understanding each other’s wishes and personal history. X person needs to show Y person who they are and that their wishes are worth sacrificing time, energy, and resources for. Understanding a person and their wishes comes through verbal questioning and cross examination along with observations of their behavior. Overtime, understanding the goals/wishes/motivations (synonyms) and personal history of another party builds loyalty.
Furthermore, it’s worth mentioning that great care should be given when analyzing another’s personal history. This care comes in the form of open-mindedness and forgiveness. Harsh and stubborn judgments are quick paths to making enemies.
Loyalty is felt through gradually understanding a person’s past, present, and future, and each are understood through questions about goals, past successes, past failures, plans, and seeing how each party works toward being a better person. Feeling loyalty is not being loyal though. Only through action is loyalty realized.
Marcus King 